I'm not talking about lewd men or vocal construction workers. I'm talking about women. You know, the women who are obviously trying to get on your good side, so the prattle on endlessly with a stream of compliments that are quite clearly insincere.

I am paticularly referring to one of the new salespeople who has done nothing but get on my nerves since she started. She is older, has short lesbian like hair and NEVER SHUTS UP. You need something? Tell me, I'll get it to you as soon as humanly possible. Yet, she stands in front of my desk, waiting, brightly chattering and looking like a graying squirrel (WITH A FLUFFY TALE) .

She compliments me on my hair, my beauty, my eyes, my office, my... you get the idea. Nothing goes unnoticed. As she continues to spew her stream of pseudo-positive verbiage I can quickly ascertain she is not only annoying and chatty, she is NOSY. PLEASE STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS! I do not feel the need to justify my single status to you. Or my lack of children. Or pets. Or my LACK OF INTEREST IN TALKING TO YOU AND DELVING YOU THE INTIMATE DETAILS OF MY LIFE.

She needs to fax something. GOOD GOD! IS THIS WOMAN NEVER GOING TO LEAVE. Of course, she can't just use my fax machine, now she needs a coversheet. And, of course, she is too stupid to actually operate the thing, so I have to go send the fax for her. Which puts me in closer proximity to her, which gives her more compliment fodder.

Here, let's just sear my eyes with hot pokers. That sounds like FUN!