Dear Lover Of Mine:

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It's not you, it's me. I hate breaking up, it's painful and messy, but also necessary. I'm sorry. I just can't do it anymore.

You don't ask much. You only want to be with me at least fifty hours a week. You simply want me to be able to change my schedule at the very last minute. You want me to lie, cheat and steal, all for you. That isn't asking much. Right? All in the name of love.

But let's face it. I'm selfish. I want to be able to make plans more than forty-eight hours in advance. I want to be able to spend the weekend with my sister when she comes in town. I again never want to cry because you took my one free weekend away from me. I want to take pride in all I say and do. I don't want to cringe when I see a friend for fear I might have been used against them.

Darling. Be true to yourself. Never change who you are. Always remember there are plenty of people clamoring for my position. To constantly be at your side. To take the blame for your mistakes, faults and quirky idiosyncrasies.

I think I may be developing a co-dependent relationship. I find myself becoming regularly more frustrated and depressed. You whispering sweet nothings about not going to school and perusing my goals. I know, I know, you want me to be here for you! But sometime your just going to have to get by on your own.

Please don't take this harshly. I love you darling. I love you in my own warped and twisted way. I have shown this by draining all my personality, verve and energy just to better you. I know it isn't enough, because you keep asking for more. But I'm a weak person and I have nothing left to give.

So this is goodbye. I will always remember our times fondly. How could I do anything but?!

All my love--

Your employee. Porkchop.

*I didn't really hand this in. But I want to. Oh! How I want to!

1 Responses to “Dear Lover Of Mine:”

  1. Anonymous steelcowboy 

    When the heart speaks, the mind must listen...

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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