We live in a small town. We've always lived in a small town or rural area. We leave our doors unlocked and our keys in our cars. And, in a act of generosity, we even leave the blinds off our windows. (I kid. Sort of. Some of our windows STILL don't have shades.) That's just what we do.

Er, I should say did.

In her spare time my sister has started persuing the sex offender list for her reading pleasure. She has calculated that our tiny town consists of 1% perverted creeps. Well. There's probably more, but those are the ones that have been convicted and registered.

Knowledge is a dangerous thing.

This morning on my way out to work I discovered the door was locked. I glared over to my sister. Her reasoning? "Well! You don't want to be RAPED IN YOUR SLEEP, DO YOU?!"

The curtains need to be drawn. "Our neighbors could be child molesters who enjoy watching us!" (Because, clearly, we are children and would thus be the subject of their delights.)

I accidentally left her key in her car. "For the rapist to use as a getaway car! YOU'RE IN CAHOOTS! AREN'T YOU?!"

I know, I know, she'll be the one laughing when I'm lying naked and violated on the ground. But, hey, it's still fun to creep into her bed in the middle of the night and whisper in her ear.