He's Growing Older... And I Can't Stop Him

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My darling little brother is growing older. Barbie and I huddled in the packed school auditorium to watch him carefully escort his date at the prom, being sure to pause at the appropriate picture taking points. True to the style of our family, we couldn't let him walk off-stage without a rousing cry of "Hooray Beer!"

I had overheard the father of his date proudly saying what a "gentlemanly young man asked his little girl to the prom. He asked me first and everything!" I am, of course, inordinately proud of him. Just thinking of his graduation makes me choke up a little bit. But I feel like a parents, reluctant to let go. Scared to let him make his own choices over two thousand miles away at college. I'll only be connected to him by phone and probably briefly at that.

I'll miss him more than I ever thought. Come to think of it, ten years ago when I was pummeling him with my fists, sinking my teeth into his fleshy hardboiled egg buns and pulling out large chunks of his blonde hair, I never thought I would ever miss him.

Thank God for perspective. Just like time brings difficult choices and changes, without either of those we would never have perspective.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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