why we hate the terps

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conversation with le brother:

porkchop: "i hate the terps. i mean, for the love of pete, they are turtles. football is big! fast! violent! and they are turtles."

fredd: "couldn't they think of something better?"

porkchop: "it could be the logical explanation for why they never win. we thought football was about being slow? and peaceful?"

fredd: "venus flytraps could do more damage."

porkchop: "go get 'em. ya big fierce turtles!"

fredd: "their mascot is just this big fat guy. at halftime, they bring him out on a cart and he eats some leaves or something then they scream GO TERPS!! EAT.. THOSE.. LEAVES!!"

porkchop: "SNAP YOUR LITTLE TURTLE TRAPS!! look fierce, boys!!!"

fredd: *snort* "exactly."

porkchop: *scoffs* "exactly."

5 Responses to “why we hate the terps”

  1. Anonymous vdoprincess 

    "snap those little turtle traps! Look fierce, boys."

    *snort* I want a shirt that says that.

  2. Anonymous thesciencegirl 

    Hey! The Terps are fearsome! Fear the turtle!

    I just have to say that b/c everyone in my family except me went to Maryland. :D

  3. Anonymous Memphis Steve 

    Avast ye Terps, tis Talk Like A Pirate Day!

  4. Anonymous lara 

    i miss my brother too, and we are even in the same town. but he is so busy these days, which is totally unfair.

    also, you need to xanga so i can read you in my subscriptions. :) or just email me your blogpost every day, and we'll call it even.

  5. Anonymous Julie 

    Hell in a Shell, baby!

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

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