men are whiny little girls

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john, skyler and MonkeyTree drama, pt 2.

i thought i had patched things up with john. apparently not. he's been avoiding my work related calls for about a week and a half now. when we did speak, it was very short and abrubt. i managed to call skyler and apoligize for hanging up on him. he didn't sound like he cared all that much. but we were cool. however, with john, it got to the point where it was interfering with work so i pressed him to share why he was annoyed. he refused. i finally got ahold of him tonight. apparently, word got back that i referred to some of the girls he was with as "sorostitutes". he was very offended because they aforementioned barsluts happened to be his fiance and his best friend's fiance.

he lectured me on how horrible and heartless it was to say something like that about people i didn't know. i apoligized, but he continued berating me. i finally asked why, if it meant so much to him, did he not introduce us to the beloved fiance. he mumbles something unintelligible. i started to get annoyed and he then starts shrieking about me "having an attitude!!" and if i want to be like that he'll "terminate our business relationship!!!" and how incredibly disrespectful to his fiance it was for me to not respect their relationship. (i didn't bother pointing out he wasn't terribly respectful in the whole area of the fiance, with the whole draping himself over anything with breasts at his little frat party.) at this point, i really don't give a damn, but not really having the energy in me for a good old fashioned fight, i give a half hearted apoligy and we tersely hang up. whaaaatever.

three minutes later, he calls back. (hello, highschool. how i have missed you and all your drama.) "you know why i didn't introduce you all??? because of the way you were acting!!!" now. bear in mind. lesister and lefriend and i, were not drunk, or anywhere close. the three of us were chatting, having a good time, meeting people. however, the females/sorostitutes/barsluts he was with were clamoring all over them, drunkenly whispering and pawing over both of them and generally acting in a way i would be ashamed to see someone knew. but, whatever. apparently, WE were the inappropriate ones. (perhaps because we were ignoring them?)

i'm pretty steamed at this comment. because i have nothing to be ashamed of and i want to give him a nice little smackdown and put his girly little frat emotions back into place. but i check myself. what would be the point? i would have proven that i'm smarter than an overgrown frat kid? i calm myself for a moment and immediately switch from my irritated angry voice to soothing dulcet tones. the sort of tones you would use to soothe an angry boss, or coax a rabid animal away from the child or just maybe, rationalize with a crazy person.

"john, you are absolutely right. i am so very sorry. you have every right to be upset. you obviously love your fiance very much and are simply trying to defend her. i am so very sorry for belittling your great love for her. soothesoothesootheblahblahblahihateyoustupidfucker"

he grunts an apoligy, but i still hear edges of resentment in his voice.

"no john, it isn't ok. i was absolutely wrong. and if you never can find it in your heart to forgive me, i understand."

halfheartedly he says "it's fine. water under the bridge. you're sorry. i'm sorry. we're fine"

"but it isn't ok john. because you don't realize how very sorry i am! i was completely and totally wrong! heaponthedramaandcompletelyturnthiswholeapoligyintohimapoligizing."

him "no, no! baby, i'm sorry for getting upset. of course i forgive you."

me. sweetly, meekly. "are you sure? this is water under the bridge?"

him "absolutely. we're good. baaaaaaaaaaaby. of course. call me later?"

i was so incredulous that he fell for it, i almost forgot to be mad.


5 Responses to “men are whiny little girls”

  1. Anonymous lara 

    skyler. lmao. loves it.

  2. Anonymous 'Liz 

    okay, I've so done the soothing i'm-apologizing-profusely-when-i've-done-nothing-wrong thing before... I usually overload on the sweetness though and they identify it as fake... of course, maybe that's cuz they were my brothers....

  3. Anonymous thesciencegirl 

    You are my hero.

  4. Anonymous steelcowboy 


  5. Anonymous colanderman 

    Since I somehow manage to insult and anger despite my best intentions, I will attempt a comment regarding this most fascinating post.
    I concur with ARE my Hero! You have learned one of the most valuable lessons from the son of the man not throw pearls before him the real you would be the pearls before swine, and secondly...from answer when mild turns away rage. Or in your case a phony response to a shallow buffoon stops the whining..nice play dear.
    You deserve so much more and frankly I wish I.... was so much more.....

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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