Beauty Is Pain, But Sometimes It Is Best To Be Ugly


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I will be the first to say that beauty is pain. Comfort is not an issue when I buy shoes. How do they make my legs look? I freely admit that I am terribly vain and superficial. Looking good at all times is a priority. I have even helped people move in heels.

But. The agony, I can endure no longer.

I have this really, really fabulous pair of shoes that I have been DYING to wear. I finially put together a professional enough outfit to wear them to work. They weren't terribly comfortable, but I wasn't terribly worried. It isn't as if I have a active job.

This morning, they really started to rub, but undaunted, I pressed on... until I looked down at my feet to see blood. Yes. Blood. As in, the red stuff that flows through your veins. As in, this stuff was oozing out over the edge of my shoes.

Apparently, my evil shoes were not content with the mere removal of skin from half my heel. They proceeded to dig their evil selves into the (now) unprotected skin and happily rupture whatever blood vessels and/or capillaries that take up residence in your heel.

I have since used up all the band-aids in the building in a feeble attempt to relieve the pain, but I am still walking gingerly like a little old lady.



Could I claim this as workman's comp?


12 Responses to “Beauty Is Pain, But Sometimes It Is Best To Be Ugly”

  1. Blogger Memphis Steve 

    Sounds like instead of Marilyn Monroe I should call you Ginger Rogers. Sorry to hear about your feet. My ankle is still a bloody mess from the dishwasher last Saturday.

  2. Blogger Porkchop 

    I am sorry too. Sort of. I now holding court, barefoot, in my office. The perfect excuse to get everyone to do any sort of work for you that involves walking.

    I am now handicapped! (Besides the whole mental thing.)

  3. Blogger Jon37 

    Oh no!
    Looks like you got some "cruel shoes!"

    you must be a wild and crazy gal!

  4. Blogger sandy 

    ouch. i am vain and superficial as well. but. you must set up boundaries, yes, even when it comes to shoes (those pretty little things we wear that are better than the big O as far as i'm concerned). what kind of shoes are they? steve madden is an idiot. that or i'm getting too old to wear his shoes. now. go soak your feet! :)

  5. Blogger arabica 

    Your shoes sound much more evil than mine-I convinced myself that my stunning new heels would be perfect for hiking the streets of San Francisco a few weeks ago. As if to mock me, they led me in the wrong direction, and I wandered in circles on my way to see Fabulous Arvin (gifted hair artiste). I was on travel and stuck with those torturous demons the rest of the week!

  6. Blogger Rick 

    http://www.aj.cz/celeb/sm3/sm3.htm

  7. Blogger Porkchop 

    They are BCBG shoes... but so, so fabulous!

    I once wore a pair of shoes on this really long shopping trip that also made my feet bleed... but I saw it as a sign to buy another pair.

    Some women complain about pain, but it is totally worth it unless blood is involved. Then, it begins to get questionable.

  8. Blogger Sask 1 

    Ouch that sounds painful.
    What we do in order to look good.
    whats wrong with a comfy pair of slippers
    June

  9. Blogger sandy 

    comfy slippers are just that. comfy. they do not do much to lift the buttocks up, however.

  10. Blogger Porkchop 

    And my buttocks are definately in need of lifting!

  11. Blogger Memphis Steve 

    What you need, until your feet heal, is a big pair of fuzzy slippers.

  12. Blogger Porkchop 

    My idea of slippers involves a heel and little poufs of feather on the toe.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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