Porkchop, minding her own business, sits in a chair waiting for her car salesperson to return with some figures. She smiles politely at all who make eye contact, resisting the urge to scrub her entire body with instant hand sanitizer after some of the looks she recieves.
Manager: Hi! My name is Mike!
Porkchop: Hello.
I briefly made eye contact and returned to staring at the walls.
10 minutes later.
Manager: Hi! My name is Mike!
He shook my hand and I gripped his hand unusually hard to indicate I would have no qualms in crushing his middle-aged enthusiasm for young girls. I politely introduced myself. He then made small talk, but finially blurted out "So, how old are you, I'm 33." When I told him my age, he looked crestfallen and replied "No, I couldn't do you, your to young."
Excuse me? Did I look like I was asking "to be done"? Do I have a invisible sign on my forehead that says Please Do Me, No One Else Will, Including Men My Own Age? I should have informed him I wouldn't do him either, since the topic had been brought up, he was too old.
And ugly
Last summer, I did a modeling job for a car dealership. One of the men who worked there happened to be completely disgusting and supremely irritating. After I threatened to gouge his eyes out with a ink pen, I found out he was the son of the owner... (they still ended up offering me a job!)
This recently came back to haunt me when I was sitting in traffic and saw his perverted self in the car next to me.
The only thing I could think of was maybe a quick carjacking.
Did he seriously say that?! "I couldn't do you." Seriously?
I'm guessing this isn't the most well-thought-out pickup line in history. It's right up there with "your legs must be tired 'cause you been runnin' through my mind all night long."
"I couldn't do you." Geeeeeez.
Ick Ick Ick. What a sleeze!
P.S. 33 isn't that old!