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Wanted:

Published 22.4.05 by Porkchop | E-mail this post

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A temporary boyfriend for rent/hire/borrowing.

I am painting my room (with my clothes on!) by myself and the progress is painfully slow. First of all, I hate doing things by myself. Secondly, I am not very tall, so hauling ladders and stools about gets time consuming. Thirdly, my loyal troop of sisters who would normally be helping me, are very consumed with the business of wedding planning and slum lording.

So. I just need him for... two days? And then I will happily return him, or dump his painted corpse into the river.

While this might sound too good to be true, it isn't! If you are looking to get rid of a pesky boyfriend, stalker, brother or whatever else, THIS IS YOUR CHANCE! The more the merrier!



Call now. Limited time offer. Exclusions apply.

4 Responses to “Wanted:”

  1. Blogger Amber Lynn  on April 22, 2005 9:51 AM  

    I tried to comment yesterday. Blogger wouldn't let me. You write funny stuff. If you would like to, you can sign up for a free Halo Scan account for comments when blogger goes down. It tends to be quicker to load.

    Anywho- you had me crackin' up with the naked Amish thing. Hillarious.

    I added you to my blog links!! (You even ended up higher on the list like you've been around for a while because someone else got cut from the list and you got their spot!!)

  2. Blogger sleepybomb  on April 22, 2005 10:56 AM  

    i could volunteer my services, but it really depends on the color you have chosen.

  3. Blogger Porkchop  on April 22, 2005 1:07 PM  

    White? Is that a problem?

    Thanks Amber! I am working on that Haloscan thing...

  4. Blogger Porkchop  on April 22, 2005 4:03 PM  

    Dave, you know you enjoy the sarcastic berating attention.

    Admit it.

    Be a man.

    You can DO it.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

cookies for troops


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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