I Want A Vespa

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For me, cars and driving are nothing but trouble. Granted, the car I currently have is a little better than the last. But with alarming regularity, it eats my money. I am even afraid to get my oil changed, because only $350 will it return to me for my puttering about town.

Yesterday was no exception. My little demon has a leaking rear tire. I would fill it up occasionally and not really have to worry about it. Except, it began leaking more frequently. As in-- it became part of my morning routine to fill up my tire before work. Until yesterday. The morning I was excitedly awaiting becoming a titan-haired goddess. My. Tire. Will. Not. Fill. And. Stay. Full.

I was faced with a choice. Immediately take my car to the shop and skip my goddess inducing appointment. Or. Drive the farm truck which has no license plate to my hair appointment?

Oh the choices in life we are forced to make.

Of course, I chose the most selfish of the options and trundled off to my appointment. Did I mention that the truck windown doesn't work. And it is stuck ALL THE WAY OPEN? On my way there, I made an appointment at the shop. By the time I had figured out my delimma and made it to the salon, I was a wee tad late.

After I was turned into a not-so-titan-haired goddess I went back home to take my little car to the repair shop. Unfortunately, in my rush to become a titan-haired goddess, I had left my headlights on and the battery was dead. Because this is a favorite past-time of mine, I am quite skilled in the use of jumper cables. However, this poses a problem when there are NO JUMPER CABLES TO BE FOUND. After hunting through the enormous shop, I was able to find some frayed and frail looking cables. As I attached them to the batteries, I was quite sure my gravestone was going to read: Since God has a sense of humor, she died shocked. Payback for the years of shocking her father. But, all went well and a few minutes later, I was on my way.

I planted myself on the couch of the repair shop and prompty fell asleep. Now, this was supposed to be simple. When I bought my car, it came with an extra set of rims AND tires. All they needed to do was swap them out. But, you have to understand that this repair shop is a little dysfunctional. My father took his car in to get the air-conditioning repaired, $1000 later it came back. Air-conditioning still not working.

They wake me up to tell me that the rims are bent, so they cannot put them on my car. And, the tires are a different size than the current rims on my car. (I should have been suprised, I have had gads of trouble with rims in the past.) Also, the rear tire which had been leaking, had a hole in the sidewall, which means it cannot be plugged. Oh yes! My two front tires need to be replaced, they are almost bald. Would I like them to order me a whole new set of tires?

No, my friends. I WOULD LIKE A SCOOTER. Preferably powered by my own feet.

1 Responses to “I Want A Vespa”

  1. Blogger XxDarkDragonxX 

    lol, hows aboat a moped ?
    then you could be apart of the moped army

    if you work a dealership couldnt u get a deal on tires and such ? just a thought.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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