I Have Months Worth Of Scorning To Catch Up On


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A few months back, I was going through a paticularly desolate single slump and I thought "What better way to confirm my hate of dating and lose faith in the gender of men than ONLINE DATING!" So I signed up for a couple of sites.

Didn't really hear back from anyone. I wasn't too suprised or upset by this, I have grown acustomed to less attention since I am no longer blond. Blech. Whatever. I had enough bad dates, wasn't like I need MORE stories. (I am convinced that is the ONLY reason online dating exists, to give you the unforgettable bad date stories. That is ALL it ever produces, for me, anyway.)

Today, I went to clean out my spam folder. The spam count was reaching into the mid hundreds. As I opened the folder, I began to laugh hysterically. EVERY SINGLE ONLINE DATING EMAIL HAD BEEN FILTERED INTO SPAM. Was God trying to tell me something or was Gmail trying to tell me something? Either way, it worked, for had had no desire to sift through the hundreds of emails and find the best potential worst dates.

Moral of the story?

If you stop bleaching your hair, your IQ doesn't get any higher.


2 Responses to “I Have Months Worth Of Scorning To Catch Up On”

  1. Blogger Jon37 

    HA HA HA HA! (sorry)

    at least you did not reply to your own father's ad (must love dogs)

    All Female ads get spammed by men who send out notes to every female there is. Seriously.

    Try a free site and write the most outragious things you can think of-you will get mail.

    I have a (female) friend who goes onto adultfriendfinder and posts rediculous ads and gets flooded with male- er... mail. most of it contaiing photos of their naughty bits.

  2. Blogger Porkchop 

    Yes. I have a friend who tried online dating after I did that whole thing... a couple of years ago. TWO guys who contacted me and I went out with contacted her too.

    The moral of the story?! Guys online are desperate AND annoying. (The both ended up being stalker types.)

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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