I'm Flattered, Yet I'm Scared

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Such great expectations are set for me. As we sit watching Will & Grace my siblings remind me of all the people who say I look and sound just like her. They sheepishly admit they have thought the same thing since the moment they laid eyes on her.

I've had complete strangers tell me the same thing. And while I'm flattered because clearly she is someone to aspire to be like, I'm a little terrified. Do my boobs meld into my waist? Is my laugh that nasal? Do I make small children cry?

I clearly need to marry money to make my evil ways justifiable.

But it still leaves me with such a feeling of inadiquacy. Karen Walker. The mythical queen of bitchy snark. I can't even begin to touch such greatness. And here I've been wasting my potential by trying to be nice? What the hell am I thinking?

"The best part of the party was telling the kids that the balloons were made of candy."

2 Responses to “I'm Flattered, Yet I'm Scared”

  1. Anonymous steelcowboy 

    Ah, but isn't there Someone who tells us how to act? :)

  2. Anonymous schmims 

    I love that show. Karen is so awesome. My friend was watching reruns at lunch the other day and then called and said "Um, you might know me as Lulu, but my name is Karen Walker and you might want to call me back becasue I might be pregnant" and then hung up on me. I can only imagine what was going on on the show.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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