fall fills me with longing

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i have yet another birthday approaching in a few weeks. just thinking about getting a year older depresses and tires me. it doesn't help that fall has already filled me with yearning to be anywhere--but here. i tire of being alone. i tire of having no life plan. i tire of being me.

sometimes life just makes you ache. and the only thing worse than longing is longing alone.

i feel restless, cranky and a wee bit sad. i have no idea why. i wish i did.

7 Responses to “fall fills me with longing”

  1. Anonymous steelcowboy 

    Loneliness is a thief that robs us of the joy that solitude can bring. Look inward for contentment, not outward...

  2. Anonymous Kelly M. 

    ugh...SAD disorder... Seasonal Affective Disorder...the blues that can come when the days get shorter...darkness comes sooner...and the wind gets that foretelling chill in the air....making ppl feel totally discontent...and suddenly....BLAH!

    classic signs it sounds...hits many ppl in the Northeast as of late.... not to say that your reasons are not legitimate to feel the way you do....

    ..cause they are...and I can so relate and empathize(gosh can i ever; I turn 26 in December)...but that SAD thing can be quite the trigger this time of year...

    something to consider....I've noticed mine kick up in the last week and a half or so....trying to get a grip so I do not get into a deeper funk....spiraling downward for no good reason...

    :) I wish you nothing but sunny days of hopefilled possibility and new adventure with a big bubbling up of youthful zest for life!

    Press in with the Lord...not to sound cliche....but He'll help ya sort the truth from the lie and comfort you in due time ;)

    Take care and God bless, kelly <>< (Western PA)

  3. Anonymous Clint 

    Suck it up, girl. :-) You're how old? 20 or something? I just turned 28. You can bitch and moan when you get to that point, but not yet. :-)

  4. Anonymous vdoprincess 

    Kinda makes me think of this quote from CS Lewis. (Good old Louie!)

    "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

  5. Anonymous lara 

    hang in there darling.

  6. Anonymous colanderman 

    I offer no remedy, no dismissal of your feelings, and no probable explanation. I only offer you my emphathy and continued friendship. I truly cannot fully understand what you are feeling, I can only imagine and try to relate the best I can. I know in some of my more recent moments of uncertainty you have provided insight and encouragement that has proved to be beneficial. It is a gift I would love to return to you. I truly admire you and believe in you.

  7. Anonymous steelcowboy 

    Princess, that was a great quote...

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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