I have evidenced my affections by staying up far to late for my own good to bake her a delectable birthday cake.

Someone save me. While I wait for my cake to cool, I am:

Surfing the internet--see recently posted gibberish.

Watching Dukes of Hazzard--an education in short-shorts in something I most definately need since my self-esteem was most recently boosted in someone, for the second time in my life, telling me I have nice legs.

Drinking earl grey tea--mock me, but rest assured I was thinking of completely this quaint picture by crocheting a cute lavender afghan to match.... my granny's hair! Nevermind the fact I cannot crochet, knit, cross-stich or even do cat's cradle! I AM SO DEPRIVED, WHO WILL EVER WANT TO MARRY A WOMAN WHO CANNOT MAKE A TOILET PAPER COVER WITH YARN AND A NEEDLE?

Eating cheese, crackers and hot olives--I am SO trying for that whole non-bathing 250 pound woman thing. It seems logical that it might save ME from anything horrific, like engagement or even the dreaded MARRIAGE.

So, yeah. It is now... late. AND HER BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday Princess! You better eat every last fattening crumb of this cake, EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU.



Just keep your shirt on. And make sure it is a long shirt.