Laughing, Gagging and Ignoring:

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"Fredd, your like me, not brilliant, you just work really hard."

I almost barfed when I heard that statement which was uttered by my father.

The man who was offered a slot at the Naval Academy and a full scholarship to Duke, was telling this to my little brother who has been contacted by every major college, except for Harvard. That includes MIT, Princeton, Cal-Tech, Smith, Brown, Amhurst, Virginia Tech, all the military academies... You get the point.

My brother is the type of person who contemplates studying and gives the impression of studying, but really spends all of his waking hours at his X-box.

I hate people like that. Another reason I am convinced I am the milkman's kid.

5 Responses to “Laughing, Gagging and Ignoring:”

  1. Blogger Memphis Steve 

    I knew a guy like that in college. We had Statics together, which was a mechanical engineering class. I'd work like mad all night long and still have to come in early to try to finish the homework for that day's class. I'd see him and ask if he got the answer to number whatever. He'd ALWAYS say, "oh yeah, I forgot to do the homework." Then he'd pull out his book and fling out the entire assignment in about 10 minutes. He had the nerve to complain to me, to COMPLAIN, that it was a pain to be so smart because he'd never really learned how to study. It had always just come easily for him.

    Oh, I feel SO sorry for you, asswipe. I'm busting my butt for 2 days and still don't have all the answers and you don't even sweat for 10 minutes. That must be SUCH a burden.

    I'm sure he's rich and still not straining to this day. I think he works for Teledyne Engineering now. I know he's somewhere in Huntsville, Alabama making a fortune. Bastard.

    At least the milkman had good looks, eh?

  2. Blogger Robin 

    My husband was like that in college. He spent exactly 30 minutes studying for any given exam, and the rest of his time was spent with his mouth wrapped around a bong. He would then proceed to blow all the exam curves. He was a Chemical Engineering major, consistently maintained a 3.8 or higher GPA, and is now a practicing Engineer in the real world. I, on the other hand, had to lock myself in a quiet room for days in order to study for a stupid Latin test. I was always so damn jealous of his ability to coast through school!

  3. Blogger Ethan Wiggum 


    just wanted to say thanks for the link to my site. a lot of new traffic through here, and i appreciate the attention.

  4. Blogger Porkchop 

    People like that, should only be spared from death, to be the sole reproduction capabilities of our country.


    Good thesis idea.

  5. Blogger Dave 

    So you say you must be the milkmans kid because....your unintelligent, work in a payroll office, dress like a drag queen, and have yet to figure out the intellecutal agility it takes to play X-box for hours on end????

    just kidding, i think you have awsome fashion sense.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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