I Remember Why I Hate My Job (Besides The Fact I Work With A Bunch Of Drama-Loving Evil Cows)

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Mainly because I am ALWAYS the first one pulled when our receptionist is out. Which means, I am subjected to a whole day of being hit on by creeps.

Wait a minute, that isn't terribly unusual, because that is ALL that hits on me. But, I occasionally like to forget that small detail and delude myself into thinking I can attract normal guys.

Since that seems to be impossible, I would like to issue a few notices.

To The Random Guy Who Was Hitting On Me Via The Internet: I do not care that the craziest thing you last did was make love with your ex on top of a sky scraper being built in Boston. Really. Trust me on this one. I didn't need to know your mating habits. But, since you are making them public, I will assure you, I am very much like a female praying mantis. Fear for your head.

To The Guy Who Just Came In: It is quite sweet of you to say I look like Cameron Diaz and that I sound like Cameron Diaz, so I logically must be the next best thing to Cameron Diaz. But, I have two pieces of information for you. One: Cameron Diaz is a crack whore. Second: If it looks like and dog and sounds like a dog, sometimes, it does not mean it IS a dog.

To The Guy Who Just Came Out Of His Interview: Looking at me and saying "daaaaaaaaaaamn" might be your idea of a compliment, but it is my idea of annoyance. So please go away.

Yes. I see myself. Ten years later. With a cat and a pint of ice cream. Watch out life, here I come.

12 Responses to “I Remember Why I Hate My Job (Besides The Fact I Work With A Bunch Of Drama-Loving Evil Cows)”

  1. Blogger TSG 

    I'm convinced that you need to get out of Delaware.

  2. Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt 

    Sorry to read about all the creeps.

    But I have some bad news for you: We're ALL creeps. Just give it time and we'll prove it to you.

  3. Anonymous Anonymous 

    Some women don't have to make themselves feel better by informing thier readers about how many men have hit on them in the last 24 hours. You are so disgustingly self-conceited that one must assume that you have low self-esteem.

  4. Blogger joy 

    Considering the person who made that comment wouldn't even leave their name, I think it says volumes about their self confidence.

    Hiding behind anonymnity is a cheap shot.

  5. Blogger JayDizzle 

    dear anonymous,

    sarah's misadventures are fun to read. we, sarah's loyal readers, are sorry you have nothing funny to share. we are probably sorry that your mother was smoking crack when she was pregnant with you. in fact, we might even be sorry you were ever born.

    anywhore, if sarah's blog really disgusts you that much, i would suggest you not read it. and then go drive your car into a tree.


    p.s. i know you can probably handle it sarah, but i'm just so GOOD at verbal abuse.

  6. Anonymous Anonymous 

    You are right, it probably is a cheap shot. I usually enjoy this blog, but lately it seems that Porkchop is unusually eager to share the misadventures that involve men. Is there not one person out there that will back me up and agree that there is at least a thread of truth to what I said. Sorry it came out so harsh

  7. Blogger Porkchop 


    Thank you for your continued reading and your comment. I really do appreciate it.

    The truth hurts. Something I re-learn every day.

    While your comment did catch me off guard, there was a element of truth to it. Thank you for reminding me it is never funny or amusing to try and make yourself feel better at the expense of someone else.

    Please keep reading and commenting!

    Thank you again--


  8. Blogger sandy 

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  9. Blogger blue2go 

    Ah, who cares about the deep motivation. Why do any of us write about the things we do? It was funny, and I enjoyed it.

  10. Blogger Memphis Steve 

    Everyone who blogs has times when we're down. And we usually blog about it. Just like we blog about the days when we're up. Whatever it is that has you down, I hope you get to feeling better soon. It's Spring and we're all supposed to feel better with the sun. Sometimes it doesn't work that way, though. It hasn't for me, either. Hope you feel happier soon.

  11. Blogger Sask 1 

    you can write whatever you like.I enjoy reading it.Seems guys cant take a little critism.

  12. Blogger Airelee 

    I see no harm nor foul here. It's not as if three really sweet guys hit on you and you shot em' down in the name of cheap entertainment. The first was a perv and as for the last one---I hope you passed that little nugget of information along to the person who interviwed him. What an amazingly inappropriate thing to do on a *job interview*!!

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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