Messages People, Messages!


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I know that some people think I am irreplacable. I know that there is a school of thought that maintains the creedo There Is None Better Than Porkchop. But really people, we have crossed the line.

When I am in the bathroom, please do not yell messages to me. Am I supposed to process the information while on the toilet, so I can spring out for quick action and remedies? Or, do you wish for me to carefully transcribe the message onto papertowels, using Lysol spray for ink?



For the love of all that is holy, let me have a few moments of peace.


4 Responses to “Messages People, Messages!”

  1. Blogger steelcowboy 

    They try to call that multi-tasking at my firm..

  2. Blogger Blue944 

    talking in the bathroom at work is just wrong. I don't want to discuss work just then.

  3. Blogger Jillian 

    At my old job my boss was going to put a telephone in the bathroom, so I would never miss a call!!!!! I said No way am I going to be talking to people on the phone while Im on the toilet!!!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PEOPLE...GET A CLUE!!!!!

  4. Blogger Porkchop 

    One of our tiny branch offices, is a one person show. So I called her the other day with a question and I listened to it forward to her cellphone and she was all:

    "Um... can I call you back? I am in the bathroom."

    Um, people? HAVE WE NEVER HEARD OF VOICEMAIL?

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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