My Future Seen, As It Could Be

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So tonight, I went to The Chicken Farmer's Convention/Convention of Rednecks, truly an amusing, if not a tiny bit scary. I was able to see my life as it would be. My Life As It Would Be If I Were Still Going Out With Chicken Famer Boy. Yes, a sort of redneck celebrity of sorts, around here. Occasionally, I will run into people, or my family will run into people who are all "Oh! YES! I KNOW YOU! YOU DATED CFB!" I, briefly, considered dating people in the area just so I would have a fan base which would get me whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Similarly to that of my oldest sister. But, I decided being the Redneck IT Girl, was not something I want to be known for. (I did not coin this phrase for myself, someone else thought of this clever little moniker.)

So. I tripped in to this event. Prissly dressed. But completely destroying the effect with my seven year old nephew in tow. Not that I really cared, since he managed to be far more amusing than most of the adults I sat with. As I was sitting, I saw all these women, cute little wives of prosperous rednecks (yes, there is such a thing) sitting at the elbows of their husband, with patently bored expressions on their faces. And it was ALL COMING BACK, COMING BACK TO ME NOW. CFB had planned on proposing, right about this time, THIS YEAR. So, I sat there for a few minutes and contemplated my good fortune of narrowly escaping such a fate. The fate of the short highlighted hair, frown lines, too much jewelry and bad clothing. While I might have frown lines down the road, and perhaps even the short highlighted hair, PLEASE spare me the excessive jewelry and bad outfits.

I was jerked out of this revere by my nephew stealing my cellphone and LOUDLY calling several people in my phonebook. He then proceeded to insult my phone, the speaker and the food. Really. There are times when little children are actually cute. For instance, when they say everything we are thinking, but too prudent to actually utter. Besides, I was able to use him as a excuse to escape early. YES! I AM READY TO HAVE A KID. Yeah, or not.

It was kind of like a trip back in time, yet into the future. And just about that weird and unnecessary.

1 Responses to “My Future Seen, As It Could Be”

  1. Blogger Katya 

    i am probably guilty of the odd time of excessive jewellery and a bad outfit...


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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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