How To Swear In A Foreign Language Like An American Pig


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Porkchop: "I really need to find a different word to say than fuck. But it's just such a good word. It expresses frustration. Anger. Rage. Irritation. A range of emotions, mostly having to do with my intense dislike of people, but a variety nonetheless."

Friend Who Pretends She Is A Lady And Would Not Let Me Reveal Her Name: "You just need to learn how to swear in a foreign language. Spanish? El fucko! Japenense? Fuckasian! French? Le Fuck! Irish? McFucker!"

Porkchop: "Doesn't have quite the same effect as inserting fuck into the appropriate words. Like my favorite. Absofuckinglutely."

FWPSIALAWNLMRHN: "But I think a good McFucker never hurt anyone."


3 Responses to “How To Swear In A Foreign Language Like An American Pig”

  1. Anonymous FWPSIALAWNLMRHN 

    Actually, the Japanese translation was "Fuckisan!"

    And you need to add a little "Hi-YAH!" for effect.

  2. Anonymous Jack Daniels is my Friend 

    ...and a karate chop.

  3. Anonymous Bright Eyes 

    Mother F*#%er in french is De'buce' and it even sounds pretty :0)

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.


I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.


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