What Then, My Good Friend, Is The Point?

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I have a rather conservative friend who is getting married in a month. Today he called me and was blathering on about missing talking to me, blahtyblahblahblah. I told him I was indeed sad I hadn't heard from him in awhile, but completely understood. Though, I was quite aware that after the wedding I would be hearing from him even less. He said he was confused. Trying to be discreet and genteel (truly a first for me) I gently said

"Well, you'll be busy taking care of your new wife and I most certainly hope you'll be fulfilling the God given command to repopulate the earth. Or at least trying." I was gently trying to make the point that he would FINALLY BE ALLOWED TO HAVE WILD MONKEY SEX, I MOST CERTAINLY HOPE HE WOULD BE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THIS OPPORTUNITY.

He paused.

"Nah. I won't really have time."

He was serious.

6 Responses to “What Then, My Good Friend, Is The Point?”

  1. Anonymous Joi 

    Ooooo, that makes me sad. Encourage him to *make* time.

  2. Anonymous lara 

    silly boylie.

    he will learn.

    or he won't and we will see them on dr. phil in a few years because they are still virgins.

  3. Anonymous vdoprincess 

    This is why conservatives are in no danger of taking over the world.

  4. Anonymous Kat 

    ...A conservative man bent on maintaining chastity in a marriage has no right talking to a hot girl like you. I mean, everyone knows guy/girl interaction is taboo. Something here doesn't click. Ahahaha.

    Although I agree... in a sense... can you see HIM spending all his time "gettin' it on?" I'm sure you don't want to, but at least I urge you to consider the likelihood of it.

  5. Anonymous joy 

    That's just it, Kat, this guy is quite possibly the hottest thing to walk the earth. His little wifey should definitely be jumping him. Course, the fact that he is so intent in talking to Porky ONE MONTH before his wedding leads me to believe Mr. Hottie may not be so keen on jumping his wifey.

    Definitely a problem.

  6. Anonymous Kinnor 

    Justification for my complaint that accessibility to unlimited amounts of guilt-free, wild animal sex is wasted on the undeservingly unappreciative.

    A pox on his head, I say.

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

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