Laughing Like A Crazy Woman

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Because there is blood spattered on my windshield from where I ran over a bird. It's a nice touch with the dangling fog lamp that was the memory of dead geese past.

I would advise you not to let me sit your children. Or pets.

11 Responses to “Laughing Like A Crazy Woman”

  1. Anonymous joy 

    I've always wanted to hit a bird. Every time I drive through a flock, I try to hit them but the airstream saves them at the last moment. One day, one day...

  2. Anonymous lara 

    bahahaha. remind me to tell you my pet stories.

    horrible, ghastly demises. violence. even a toilet.

  3. Anonymous joy 

    On gory pet stories..."hamster" and "vacuum cleaner" should never be in the same sentence together.

  4. Anonymous Andrew 

    Our maintenance guy ran over a flightless bird yesterday - on purpose. The bird had flown into a glass window, hit the ground and couldn't fly. He happened to be cutting the grass at the time. One maniacal laugh and tons of feathers later.......the bird was no more.

  5. Anonymous queenofslackers 

    we have photos of our family car liberally splashed with dripping blood from when we attempted to kill catfish with blunt hatchets.

  6. Anonymous chigbee 

    Just what does a goose to a car upon impact?

  7. Anonymous joy 

    apparently, chiggerboy, it causes fog lights to dangle.

    I must say, I am quite envious of her geese depopulating skills. Oh, that I will one day be able to make such a significant contribution to society as she.

    Now that I think of it, this sister of mine is all about the depopulating. From castrating cats to mowing down geese to poaching deer, she seems to have a vendetta for animals in general. And to that, I say, rock on.

  8. Anonymous Pauly 

    Would you consider "watching" the kids down the street from me? Or, better....just come visit me - they're always playing in the street...

  9. Anonymous MeAhna 

    (Uh, havent been here in a while where did your pictures go?)

    I ALWAYS hit birds.

  10. Anonymous schmims 

    Awesome! I hate, loathe, and detest birds. I've been pooped on three times!

  11. Anonymous jon37 

    A book for you- no wait, maybe you wrote it?

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This odd narrative is my life. I ended up in Pittsburgh, of all places--from the beach. I have no hobbies, other than cooking excessively and eating microwave popcorn. I enjoy shopping, the Food network, hiding the remote so the Food network cannot be turned off, find ethnic food stores and restaurants and reading voraciously. My life is decidedly pedestrian.

I worked in the car business where I was required to be ruthless and soul-less wench, which is when I started this project. Since then, I've kept it up because secretly, I've always wanted to join the military. Every male in my mother's family has joined and I quietly entertain thoughts of joining. I haven't yet and don't know if I ever will, but sending the troops cookies keeps me sane. it makes me think I still have a shred of human kindness left in my withering soul. it's a small way for me to salute the men and women who are brave enough to fight for freedom. And makes me feel like I'm contributing toward troop morale--even if I'm not. So if you want to help, send me addresses of troops you know stationed overseas. you may also contribute toward the cost of chocolate chips, but don't feel obligated, that link is here only by request.

the past


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