Perky! That is my word of the moment. It makes me think of fresh flowers, short sundresses, and being cute and skinny.

Now, none of those words describe me necessarily. But, as I sit here with my hair in pigtails, feeling young and... young, faintly feeling the glow of intelligence. I got a 91 on my A & P paper, I don't know who was more suprised me or my lab mates who think I am a dunce. I totally screwed up my Psyc test and my A & P Lab practical, but, things are looking up. Because my lab mates DID do so well on their test, they feel invincible and don't want to study anymore. Not a good thing. But, I am trying the be-nice-to-the-teacher tactic so she helps me. =)

Nothing terribly exciting, the same old, same old. Inbetween feeling fat and unloved =D
But, the Lord is faithful, and I have to keep my eyes fixed on Him or I won't get through anything!

Sigh. I am so, so tired. I am feeling so, so fat. And so, so frustrated and futile.

On a happier thread... yesterday at work I got to share a little bit of the Lord with a co-worker. He is a rather interesting fellow. I have casually engaged him in conversation before, but, I found him highly annoying and the type of person I would rather not talk to. But, yesterday while I was eating, we kinda had to eat together, so I thought I might as well make the best out of it. He was saying how he is a athiest, and how he doesn't believe in the military.

When I asked him why, he said he would prefer not to talk about it because I wouldn't understand. When I explained that my Dad's family is pacifist's, and my Mother is a Jehovah's Witness, he opened up and shared a few more details. Instead of attacking is very flawed theology. I shared a very abbrieviated, condensed version of my testimony. Simply stating that I knew Jesus Christ was real because I had seen His power in my life. Thankfully, I was able to share it in a manner that did not seem condemning or condescending. After I finished, I could see in his eyes that he really understood, and wasn't just humoring me. So, you never know, maybe I planted a seed...

On the other hand, work kinda sucks because I found out what a jerk my boss is. He is nice enough, but married and enjoys hitting on this chick that used to work there. And it is a common known fact he would like to get into bed with her. To quote someone "he isn't attracted to her, he just wants to screw her." Yay! That leaves me feeling real confident about my management.

I am sitting here feeling like a fat ugly blob. I just checked my cellulite growth and I have a veritiable farm growing on my butt. Sadly enough, I cannot harvest it. And, I cannot remember the last time I ate a live vegtable. Sad, but true.

Well, I have to go study for Monday's tests.

Haha! I read last night's post, and found it rather amusing. While I have perfect reason to feel fat, because I am, the other emotions could be a result of too many love songs, PMS, not enough sleep or a myraid of other things.

I do feel the need to rant about being fat, because I am. I sit here typing as I feel the rolls of flesh stack above the waistline of my jeans. I am thinking about starting running or something, but I don't want to copy Joy and I need to get a decent pair of running shoes.

School is actually going much better, today in A&P because I understood, I was actually able to ask intelligent and meaningful questions and feel remotely smart! Pretty cool. I guess I am being "accepted" I had this one complete loser of a guy, try and compliment me by telling me I was a "cool bitch." Um, yeah. Thanks. Since I am striving for your approval...

Also, after school, I stopped by to see Adopted Mom. I love her to death, she is so cool! I could talk to her forever, because she just sits there and listens to me talk, and talk, and talk... a rare person! We got talking about Jared's graduation, how great that will be, and how much fun and how I might catch a hot Marine guy! HAH! Not in this lifetime. But, we also got talking about how much Jared has changed, for that reason alone, I am so excited to see him. From his letters I can tell how much he has matured, he actually cares about people. And his walk with the Lord actually means something to him. They guy that used to get up out of church and go to the bathroom everytime we prayed, said he is praying for ME! The guy who brushed off spirtual things, is thanking his parents for the grace and forgiveness they showed him. I could go on... but I will quench this flow of excitement with the summation of saying, even if he hadn't changed, I would love him, but now, he is just ALOT more loveable. =)

Well, Mum didn't get a lawyer, but court has been postponed... so this entertaining circus could turn into a freak show. Parading skeletons of by-gone offenses across the ring.

Youth group at DCC wasn't all that bad, I felt like I was in a 8th grade class for VBS. Fred says I was being haughty. I was purposefully trying not too. I just felt so OLD! I knew if I opened my mouth I would come across as condescending, know-it-all, and like I was trying to dazzle them with my not-so-brilliance. I don't feel like I fit into youth groups, I don't relate to them, and I feel like a old, boring, fogey. At the same time, when around collegeage people, once they find out how old I am, I don't feel like I fit in there, because they tend to treat me like a little kid. Maybe I should start a group "For the exceptionally gifted underage..." Or maybe not.

When people treat me like a adult, even after they find out how old I am, I love that person, and it gives me a huge amount of respect for them. It means they are mature enough to feel secure in their position not to belittle me. It just reminds me to make sure I treat others as I would like to be treated.

Mental Note: When I have the opportunity, hire teenagers who are well deserving, hard working and deserve a better chance than fast food restaurants.

Anyways, must hit the books!