i just signed the papers for my new home. while i am slightly excited--i feel like i am woefully behind on the real estate curve. thanks to my father and sister. pffffffbbbbbt. my sister didn't even SIGN for her first house. she casually signed power of attorney over to one of her minions who went and scribbled for her.
the attorney was incredibly rude and condecensing. explaining words to me like i was a simple child. someone finally said "um, sir, she's a finance manager. she understands what you are saying." jackass. i was so annoyed that they used some attorney other than the attorney i requested, i was completely off my game. curses on them. may all their children be slighted and snubbed for whatever reason.
so. merry christmas to me. i have a house that just may fall down around my ears. and i still get to pay for it. the bright side is--if i die, i have something to leave someone.
do you ever have those moments where you snap back to your life--six months ago? a year ago? you are suddenly transposed to a moment of vivid--and in my case possibly violent--emotion? for me, music normally takes me there.
"bad day"--by daniel powter was my theme song early this year. BEFORE it hit the radio and it was just a free itunes download. how many a night did i trot myself home from work, put it on repeat and scream/beat/kick my way to sleep? too many. i remember the air, it was spring. a little cool, with the windows open and all the fresh smells pouring into the sparse living room.
today some old rock ballad came on the radio that i hadn't heard in year. in fact, the last time i listened to it, my heart was bruised and i was quite sure i would never recover. am i the only one who enjoys the perspective of time?
that's why i enjoy waltzes down memory lane. i am reminded that grace comes through again and again. in a year--i'll look at my troubles/worries/problems/general situtation and chuckle. i'll chide myelf for the lack of perspective and inability to see the grace of God. i'll roll my eyes at how caught up i was in the moment instead of the big picture. i'll be breathing and living a whole new set of challenges and problems. the worries of yesterday fading fast--and often the lessons of grace just as quickly.
over and over i have to remind myelf HOW MUCH grace i have been given. it flows. it abounds. the blessings are unlimited. i've been given a brother who makes my heart swell with pride. i've been given a sister who awes me with her dedication and achievement. i've been given another sister who inspires me with her creativity and art. i've been given a father who believes that anything is within my grasp.i've been given a mother who loves me--in her own special quirky way. i've been given roots. i've been given a heritage. i've been afforded opportunities and priviledge. whenever i pause--from my worrying and whining--i am literally made speechless by the gifts i have been given.
there are not words to express the swelling of my heart when it comes to all things related to my family. but that's why i've been given grace--and the rest of my life-- to show them how much they mean to me. they've always been there. unfortunately--due to mortality--they won't always be there. but i am forever grateful for them. one of the many, many gifts of grace from my heavenly father.