I saved part of a very touching and tragical post, only to find the system had lost it for me.
Thanks blogger for ruining my life, well not quite.

I have been instructed, quite harshly I might add, to update my blog. So here I sit, updating when I should be filing, or studying.

Speaking of studying, I am absolutely convinced that I am not cut out to be a nurse. I think I should take up a major in political science or something. Something, anything has to be better than memorizing all the muscles with their origins and insertions. Argh! Instead, I think I need to change the world by trying to get women out of the military. Don't flip, just yet because not completely out, but if they want to work alongside men, then they should have to meet the same physical requirements as men. And that would virtually eliminate all the women who are not serious about serving our country and who simply want a free ride.

Today we took senior pictures, some of which turned out very cool. Sadly enough, because of my massive bosom, they are unprintable. Dang my massive cleavage! Dang the fact that I am a large squishy marshmallow! Dang the fact that I am not one of those utterly adorable people who looking completely and devistatingly charming in all pictures! Why God why? I must say, life sometimes is terribly unfair. Since it did take two rolls of film to come up with four good pictures. Two of which are marred by my massive cleavage. Sucks to be me.

I must get to work now, I am feeling fat, queezy, unphotogenic, and decidedly at odds with life.

Ugh. One of those weeks where good, fun things happen, but at the same time, horrible disgusting things happen.

Joy and I have been living up our free weekend without parents, and have had a blast! We are also trying to forget the horrible things, and enjoy life while we have it. Tonight we went to see Intolerable Cruelty, very cute and funny. But stupid at the same time. =) It made us momentarily forget our miserableness, so it was worth it.

Jared leaves Saturday, and I am going to miss him... allot. I feel bad for Laura, she had to go off and do a CI, so she was gone for most of Jared's leave. Alas! We'll just have to visit him at Thanksgiving or something.

Joy and I were talking about it, and with this whole dramatic situation, I know I personally feel as if both parents have gone there own seperate ways, leaving us children to do as we please. I feel like a hamper to their plans. A extra thumb. And with this whole fiasco, it has made me allot more daring. I know it sounds weirder, but I realize I might as well control the things that I can, and if I die young, so be it.

This is a rather boring post I know, but I am tired.

I sit here, tasting the salt of my tears on my toungue, sobbing like my heart has broken into a million pieces. It feels as if it has.

How can someone you love so fiercly, defend so valiently, and trust so greatly throw it all away on the whim of pleasure? A person who I have defended their honor time and time again, only to find out how very wrong you were. The sickness and disgust are flooding over me, I feel as if I cannot function, emotionally or physically.

Why is this happening to me, haven't I had my fair share of devestations in my life? Once again, I feel completely empty, drained of any love and trust for anyone I could ever have.

I am trying to recall my favorite, or funniest memory from graduation. It was really great as a whole, lots of one-liners that will stick with us for awhile... drama, drama, drama...LOVE the rabbits...Noooo... and lots of others. =)

At first, I was convinced Jared could have cared less that we were there, but I slowly realized that he did appreciate us being there. Regardless if I was wanted or not, I had a blast, and really enjoyed seeing Jared.

Sniffle. Laura and I are still in the search of our Marines. Laura, one day our Marine will come... one day.

Tonight we had a really great time at the Nelson's. I love them to death! We just sat around and talked about anything and everything. And Mrs. Nelson really, truly thinks of us as family. How cool is that? And Mr. Nelson cracks me up, that man is a stitch! Though I do not agree with all his theology...

Well, this post has been rather redundant, but I am very tired and should go to bed.

This post is definately overdue. I wish I could have been writing it on the way back from graduation, because, I was composing one in my head, which was quite eloquent.
Wednesday after class (which was awful, I couldn't concentrate I was so excited) we left for Jared's graduation. A whole bunch of us. I was convinced the ride was going to be awful, but it turned out to be really fun. Everything seemed terribly hysterical and witty since we were all sleep-deprived and in desperate need of entertainment since Laura had forgotten the power cord to her laptop/DVD player.

Going anywhere in a carvan with the Perdue's is destined to be interesting... and slow. I swear, the way there we were going 5 miles under the speed limit. Argh! How annoying is that?
Parris Island was very cool. Sadly, I did not come back with a hot marine on my arm as I had hoped... =) Alas, Jared is taken.

Speaking of Jared, I was so very glad to see him, I almost cried. Seeing him reminded me of just how much I love him, and how much I missed him. He has changed, SO MUCH! And definately for the better. He has changed in ways that I thought would take YEARS! And it all happened in thirteen weeks. He is going to make a really good Marine, he is commited, dedicated, loyal, and a leader. I could go on for awhile about him, but I will summarize by saying, I am so glad to see him, and when he leaves again I am going to miss him twice as much.

The ride back wasn't all that bad, we were pretty cramped, and I caught Joy's cold, as well as a fever and my back hurt like crazy, but I made it out alive. But just barely...

I have a HUGE test Monday for which I feel completely unprepared, so please pray. I should post more interesting stories from the trip soon, but I have to run.

Yay! Hooray! I am SO excited, today was one of those days where you think things are going kinda awry, but it turns out just super!

Well, I didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, and when I got to work it turns out I was supposed to be there at 8, not 9. Big oops! And, I felt like Josh was breathing down my neck disapprovingly all morning, so I was busting myself to work really hard, and then Mr. Gibson (the owner) pulled me aside, I was thinking "oh brother what have I done now..." He was informed me he just wanted to tell me that he really appreciated me, saw I was a very hard worker, enjoyed working with me, and just wanted to tell me that.

How great is that? This is coming from the guy that I have yet to hear one nice thing about him from my fellow employees, but I don't see what they are so uptight about. He isn't that bad, he just wants people to work hard. And, I had this nice old guy come through drive-thru and tell me he thought I was beautiful. I love nice old people!

And, the best part, I get to go to Jared's graduation!!! Yay! I am SO happy! After being a grump about it, I just gave it to the Lord, and then I found out I could go. Yippee!

I don't have allot more interesting stuff to say, just little stuff, but I have to go home and pack.

Dear me! It has been a week since my last post, I feel like such a slacker or it could just be that I lead a boring life. I am tempted to think the latter.

Even though I still have my whole english paper to write, and it IS a rather ungoldy hour to me scribbling (typing) my thoughts, I must update this, since it IS my birthday!

Yes, that is rather strange to me, because I was thinking how much I have changed, and my life has changed since my last birthday, this brithday didn't even FEEL like a birthday, if you know what I mean.

Yesterday, we went over to Grandma's and ate cheese sandwhiches (I believe it is now tradition) and birthday cake, and slept on the couch. We came home, and opened my presents. Yay for me, happy birthday. (I must note, all my presents were quite lovely.) This morning, I had to drag my lazy, fat carcass out of bed and go to school, which was quite awful, with the teacher and classmates from hell.

And I had to go to work. Well, the Lord gave me the blessing of not having any twits to work with, instead, I had the slow, steady, plodding girl who TAKES FOREVER to do anything and if you ask her a question, she can't answer it without ten minutes of heavy thinking which involves stopping all other work. Oh yes, we were short staffed, with no supervisors, so she took it upon herself to be a super. Ahem! Interesting...

And then, my dear lovely sisters, brother, and adopted family came in and sang me happy birthday and gave me adorable balloons! It was so... special, I felt so LOVED! I smiled at all the customers for like the next half hour, I thought my face was going to split in half. I love it, I have this following of old people who like me at work. =) Whenever they come in, they make a point to say something nice to me. I had this one lady come in who I thought I had never seen before, and she was like "I remember you from last time I came in, your so nice and cheerful. I hope they properly appreciate you." Ahhh! You have to love those people. =)

On a sadder note, a much, much sadder note. Such a sad note in fact, I almost decided it had spoiled my birthday, but I decided to be more mature than that. (Being mature and responsible is not all it's cracked up to be.) I won't be able to go to Jared's graduation. Sigh. I don't think anyone realizes just how much I have looked forward to this, and, I know Laura and Joy think they do, but it is rather hard to explain. Someone has to be here to watch the office, and I wanted to stay behind because, one, I am never sacrificing for the family, whereas Joy and Laura are constantly denying themselves SOMETHING for the good of the family, while I stay like the little princess on my little cloud of luxery.

Secondly, Joy has made such a impact on Jared's life for the better, she is one of those people he will look back on with such awe and gratefulness for the stuff she did for him. So she HAS to go to graduation!

For my own sake, let me commiserate with myself. You can skip it, or sympathize, but I must properly express my feelings before I can put this behind me. I know he'll be sad I won't be there, but it won't make that big of a difference to him, it just meant allot to me. Because, I have been looking forward to this for FOREVER! And the fact that i have to skip it isn't even the hard part, the hard part is Dad doesn't understand, not one bit. He thinks the only sort of relationship that ever existed between Jared and I was that of the romantic. He doesn't realize what a brother he was when Mom left, or what friends we were and how much fun we had.

So, to Dad, for me not to go isn't a big deal, because the only reason I want to go are the shreds of a two-year-old stale relationship. Sometimes, I cannot understand that man. I do not know what his recent obession with relationships are, I mean, he says Laura and I are a "item" what in the world is that supposed to mean????

Anyway, moving right along. Life will continue. And I will go on forgotten...
It's probably best that I stay home so I can study for the upcoming test, because this last test I barely scraped by with another 91, and I was allot more confindent than a 91. Alas!

I wish I could post more but my mind is one big mush pot, so I must toddle.